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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23274019">I need to know, how do you feel?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC'>EternallyEC</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Victorious (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drinking, Drunken Flirting, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Jori - Freeform, Light Angst, Mutual Pining</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:35:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,514</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23274019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Tori finds herself too drunk to drive in a bar at last call and her sister won't answer her phone, she tries a number she hasn't called in five years and finds herself thrown headlong into a series of events that just might lead her to everything she never dared admit she wanted...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tori Vega/Jade West</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>247</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey all! Had this idea earlier and just had to get it down. I wanted to reiterate that I will be updating I Think You Know Me. Sadly, I am considered essential and am unable to isolate myself so I am trying to balance working and writing with self-care and trying not to slip into a total panic with my anxiety and depression. </p>
<p>Luckily, Jori helps me to do that so writing them has become more fun than ever and I expect now that my 8 days straight are over and I've been able to rest, my updates should come a bit faster. </p>
<p>Anyway, hope you enjoy--this was written almost entirely to a Jori playlist I was recently blessed with, so thanks to everyone who's contributed to that!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p></p>
  <div class="resolved">
    <p> </p>
  </div>
</div><p>Her vision is blurry, the brightness of her phone screen in the dark bar making her squint as she tries to scroll through her contacts.</p>
<p>She’s had far too many drinks to be able to drive herself home, no matter how much she dreads the thought of having to deal with Trina and her attempts to give a sisterly talk while she’s drunk as hell. The Latina sighs as her finger hovers over her sister’s phone number for a second before she finally hits the call button, bringing the phone to her ear and closing her eyes.</p>
<p>“Come on, Trina,” she mumbles, drumming her fingernails on the cool, polished wood of the table. She groans when Trina’s overly peppy voicemail comes on, hanging up before she has to endure more than a few seconds of it.</p>
<p>Tori Vega glances around the bar and wonders how the hell she got here.</p>
<p>“Hey kid, last call,” the bartender yells, interrupting her thoughts and she blanches. With a bit of focus and widened eyes, she’s able to make out the time on her phone’s display and when the <em>hell </em>did it become 2 AM? But she doesn’t have time to wonder, knowing that she doesn’t have much time before she’ll be getting kicked out of a bar that’s a 15-minute drive from her house and <em>not </em>in a place where she wants to be walking in any state, but much less her current drunkenness.</p>
<p>If she’d been sober, she would never have thought of her next idea. Hell, even if she’d had just a few drinks less, she wouldn’t have done what she thinks to do next. Scrolling back up through her contacts, she opens the contact and stares at the contact.</p>
<p>It’s been four years since she last used the number and she has no idea if it even belongs to her anymore. But Beck is in Texas shooting a movie, Cat is in the hottest new Broadway musical, Andre is in England with his wife to scout talent for the record label they’d started, Robbie is headlining a new comedy show in New Mexico and Trina isn’t answering her phone. She doesn’t particularly want to deal with a taxi unless <em>absolutely </em>necessary, and so she finds herself taking the leap of pushing the call button and awkwardly cradling the phone between her shoulder and ear.</p>
<p>One ring turns into two and then three and by the fourth, Tori’s convinced that either the line isn’t in use anymore or that she’s not going to answer. She’s digging through her purse to try and see if she even has enough cash to call a cab when she freezes, her breath leaving her in a long, shaky exhale as the fifth ring is cut off and a familiar voice, as cutting as ever, rasps across the line and straight into her ear.</p>
<p>“<em>What?” </em>Jade growls, and Tori numbly thinks that it’s the most beautiful sound she’s ever heard. “I swear to god, this better be important. I own <em>several </em>pairs of scissors and I’ll make sure--”</p>
<p>“Jade,” Tori blurts out, her rational mind suddenly deciding to come out and sending her into a panic over her actions. <em>Stupid, stupid, stupid</em>, she thinks, shaking her head. “Jade, can you come get me?”</p>
<p>“<em>Vega?” </em>the familiar voice hisses, all sharp edges and bravado and yet with an underlying note of something Tori can’t name, something that ignites a fire in her belly that she doesn’t want to think about. “What the fuck? Where are you?”</p>
<p>“Last Chance Bar,” she mumbles, feeling her cheeks heating up. “I can’t drive and Trina isn’t answering her phone. I’m sorry,” she hiccups, scrubbing at eyes that are suddenly getting watery. “I didn’t know who else to call.”</p>
<p>A long silence is all that meets her words, and Tori is just about to look at her phone to see if Jade’s hung up when she says, “I’ll be there in 15 minutes. Stay inside, for fuck’s sake.” And then the line goes dead, but Tori can’t stop from whispering her thanks with a smile stretching itself across her face.</p>
<p>She’s still smiling when, 10 minutes later (Jade’s never been one for traffic laws), the door to the bar is shoved open and Jade stomps into the bar.</p>
<p>Tori’s eyes drink in the sight of her greedily, cataloging all of the changes she’s gone through since they last saw each other just after graduation. Gone is her all black wardrobe, replaced by reds that suit her more, she thinks idly. She’s wearing a red flannel shirt over a pair of black leggings and her hair is back to its’ natural brunette, falling over her shoulders in curly waves that make Tori long to run her fingers through them.</p>
<p>She’s filled out more and it would appear she’s accepted it by the way her clothes hug all of her curves in exactly the right way, and Tori licks her lips just as Jade turns and catches her staring. A smirk slowly crosses her face and Tori feels a blush paint her cheeks again as she whimpers softly.</p>
<p>The bar isn’t exactly big and it takes Jade less than thirty seconds to be at Tori’s side, glancing down at her with an amused smirk. “Shit, Vega, you’re a wreck,” she deadpans, though there’s a certain softness in her eyes that Tori can’t make sense of. “Come on, get your ass up,” she orders, rolling her eyes when Tori attempts to obey, only to immediately have to grab onto Jade’s shoulders to keep from collapsing.</p>
<p>“Oops,” Tori giggles, her hands bunching in Jade’s shirt as she feels the other woman’s arms go around her, offering her enough support for her to steady herself. Feeling safer immediately, she cautiously releases Jade’s shoulders and shifts her position so that she can wrap an arm around her waist, making her feel even more secure. “’kay, I’m ready,” she mumbles, her cheeks flaming and her eyes directed at the floor.</p>
<p>To her credit, Jade doesn’t say a word as she leads the way to her car, opening the door and helping Tori collapse into the backseat. Then she’s brandishing a trash can at her with a scowl. “Lay on your side and if you’re going to be sick, do it in this,” she orders as Tori takes the trash can and sets it in the floorboard. “I mean it, Vega. If you barf in my car, it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”</p>
<p>Tori can’t help but smile; she knows that despite Jade’s harsh words, this is her way of taking care of her and she sighs as the warm feeling blankets her. “Thank you,” she mumbles, ignoring the way Jade’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.</p>
<p>But she doesn’t reply, just slamming the door shut and climbing into the driver’s seat.</p>
<p>As it turns out, the trash can was a good idea because they’re barely halfway to their destination when the combination of too many drinks and the car’s movement gets to be too much and Tori’s stomach is lurching. She whines softly when she finishes and glances towards the front seat just in time to catch the concerned look in Jade’s eyes in the rearview mirror, clearly checking on her.</p>
<p>The rest of the ride doesn’t seem too bad, even with the putrid smell coming from the floor just in front of her.</p>
<p>“Hey, where are we?” Tori asks quietly when she sits up shakily after Jade parks and notices they aren’t at her house. She’s a bit more sober now after throwing up so much of the alcohol in her system, but she’s certainly not at her best by a long shot.</p>
<p>“My place,” Jade answers smoothly, sliding out of the car and opening the door for Tori. Her nose wrinkles at the stench wafting from the trash can but she’s otherwise as unbothered as ever as she coolly surveys Tori’s state. “You’re in no condition to go home by yourself. You might end up one of those funny news stories about choking to death on your own vomit.”</p>
<p>“I would not,” Tori protests, and Jade’s eyebrow raises again.</p>
<p>“Okay, get out of the car without falling on your face,” she tells her with a knowing smirk. “And <em>do not </em>knock over that trash can,” she says with a glare that threatens to freeze Tori’s blood in her veins.</p>
<p>Tori huffs and, after carefully moving the trash can to the other side of the car, starts to climb out of the car. Unfortunately for her, she’s still not as in control of her own limbs as she’d like and her legs get hopelessly tangled along the way and she almost topples from the car, stopped only by Jade catching her.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” the goth smirks, staring into Tori’s eyes with their faces mere inches apart.</p>
<p>Tori wonders if they’re close enough for Jade to hear how her heart is racing, if she can see everything she’s feeling in her eyes she’s always been told hold all of her feelings no matter how she tries to hide them.</p>
<p>She wonders if she can tell how badly she wants to lean forward, it would only take the slightest movement and then her lips would be against Jade’s--</p>
<p>And then Jade shatters the moment, abruptly pulling Tori to her feet and making sure she’s steady before she hurriedly backed up, putting feet between them that left Tori feeling cold in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature.</p>
<p>“We should get inside,” she says, jerking her head to the house.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Tori replies weakly, shoving her hands in her pockets and immediately removing them when she starts to sway back and forth, the simple action apparently affecting her balance.</p>
<p>Jade’s eyes study her critically, still absolutely unreadable, before she nods and turns to lead the way to the front door and then inside.</p>
<p>“Make yourself at home,” she smirks. “But if I catch you snooping...” Her voice trails off as she disappears from view, leaving the threat unvoiced and Tori can’t help but smirk as they return to familiar ground.</p>
<p>Tori, for her part, stays in the living room she’s been left in and she smiles. The room is unequivocally Jade, decorated in a gothic theme with reds and blacks. The walls are adorned with signed movie posters and framed scripts, one entire wall devoted to Jade’s scissors collection. It’s extravagant and yet homey and cozy, the furniture looking vintage but lived-in rather than untouchable, and Tori gratefully sinks down onto the comfortable sofa with a soft sigh.</p>
<p>And then, the photo album on the coffee table catches her eye. Picking it up, she leans back and opens it up, smiling at the first photo of a brightly smiling brunette girl with a gap where her two front teeth should have been, proudly holding up a microphone.</p>
<p>She flips through the album and watches as Jade grows up before her eyes. She’s somewhere around twelve when the smiles disappear, her expressions growing first sullen and then turning into straight glares and glowers. And then her smile returns, though rarely, when photos of Jade and Beck begin to appear.</p>
<p>Soon, Tori reaches photos from when she’d first met Jade, and she’s thoroughly surprised to find photos of herself in the album. At first, they’re all photos of the group or of performances that she and Jade did together. But as both Jade and Tori get older through the photos, more of the two of them in everyday situations begin to appear.</p>
<p>The first is from the night when Sikowitz had forced them on a date, not believing them as their roles of husband and wife and demanding that they go out on a date until he did. She smiled at the memory, studying the photo more closely. It had clearly been taken after they’d performed, bonding over their annoyance at boys who couldn’t take a hint and leave them alone.</p>
<p>She couldn’t imagine who had taken the photo, though her money would be on Sinjin. But her breath caught in her throat as she took a closer look. The lyrics on the screen told her that it had been taken at the beginning of the song, but that wasn’t what had caught her attention.</p>
<p>The soft way that Jade was gazing at her, a look that she’d seen directed Beck’s way a thousand times but never at anyone else, was what suddenly made it hard to breathe. She was singing, her eyes closed as she’d focused on nothing more than the performance, and she’d totally missed the rare, unguarded moment.</p>
<p>Pursing her lips, Tori couldn’t help but wonder just how many other moments like it she might have missed over the years.</p>
<p>She’s always assumed that her feelings for Jade were one-sided, the other girl refusing to so much as call her a friend, and she’s spent years trying to push those feelings away and to focus on getting over her. But as she absently traces the contours of Jade’s face on the photograph, utterly mesmerized by the soft way Jade’s staring at her, she can’t help but feel them surge forward once again.</p>
<p><em>What if I’ve been wrong all along? s</em>he can’t help but wonder, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back against the sofa as the thoughts and feelings overwhelm her. <em>Maybe Jade could feel the same things I do… </em></p>
<p>But then her thoughts turn to the almost-kiss just moments earlier and her shoulders slump. Could Jade really share the same feelings and not react to them in such a moment? Tori had been ready to throw caution to the wind and just kiss her, but Jade hadn’t seemed to be anything but her usual cool self, had she? But… <em>oh</em>, Tori had just thrown up in the backseat of her car, maybe that’s all it was?</p>
<p>“Perving on me, Vega?”</p>
<p>Tori’s eyes shoot open and she jerks forward, sending the forgotten photo album sliding across the floor as she accidentally throws it in her shock, having forgotten she was even holding it. Jade is just watching her with a smirk, her eyebrow raised and for the first time Tori can see that she still has all of her facial jewelry.</p>
<p>“Your photos never show those,” she blurts out, feeling her cheeks heating up <em>again </em>and desperate for a change of subject. Any will do if it distracts Jade that she just caught Tori caressing a photo of her. Jade’s smirk turns to a look of confusion and Tori giggles, touching her eyebrow until the brunette seems to understand. “I thought you’d taken them out.”</p>
<p>“Nah, dress codes and all that,” Jade says with a wave of her hand, moving closer. For the first time, Tori can see the glass in her hand and she beams up at Jade. “I’m parched, thank you,” she tells her as Jade carefully hands her the glass and then opens her closed palm to reveal two pills.</p>
<p>“Tylenol,” she tells her, amusement coloring her voice when Tori just stares at them. “For the hangover you’ll have tomorrow. Trust me, Tori, I wouldn’t drag your ass from a bar to my house if I wanted to drug you. I could have done that at any point after you threw up,” she smirked.</p>
<p>Conceding her point, Tori accepts the pills and washes them down with the water, continuing to drink deeply until Jade’s laugh cut into her enjoyment of the best drink she’d ever tasted. “Slow it down unless you want to throw up again, Vega,” she said dryly, though she was smiling when Tori reluctantly lowered the glass.</p>
<p>“You have pictures of us,” Tori says dumbly, her fingers drawing in the condensation forming on the side of the glass, unable to meet Jade’s gaze.</p>
<p>“Tori...”</p>
<p>“Jade,” Tori half-whines, looking up at Jade. “I want to talk about--”</p>
<p>“<em>No,</em>” Jade hisses, almost wincing when Tori flinches back. “We’re not doing this right now, Tori. You’re drunk and you haven’t even talked to me in five fucking years.”</p>
<p>“You haven’t talked to me either,” Tori accuses, fully aware that her words don’t hold any sting, not with her emotions naked on her face. She’s too tired, too <em>hurt </em>to play this game.</p>
<p>“I know,” Jade sighs, moving to sit beside Tori on the couch, though she’s sure to keep a distance between them. “I didn’t mean to snap at you,” she says, her voice gentler than Tori’s ever heard, making the Latina glance sharply at her. Jade’s hands are twisting in her lap and her gaze is unfocused, staring off into the distance as she speaks. Tori wants to say something, to reassure her that it’s okay, but she can sense that Jade isn’t finished, that she has more to say and so she holds her tongue.</p>
<p>Because the truth is, she knows Jade. Her emotions run hot and cold, either coming out in a boiling wave of lava after an eruption or slow and steady like the Titanic bearing down on the iceberg. And right now, Tori knows that if she’s patient, she just might get one or two of the answers she’s been hoping for over the years.</p>
<p>“Tori…” Jade sighs, running a hand through her hair and finally turning to look at her. “You’re drunk and I’m exhausted. I don’t want to do or say anything that you might regret tomorrow, all right? Can we please just… go to bed and I promise that we’ll talk tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Tori inhales, seeing the pleading in Jade’s gaze. She thinks it over for a minute before finally nodding, rewarded by the sight of relief washing over Jade’s face. “Thank you,” the other woman mumbles, and Tori can’t help but grin.</p>
<p>“On one condition,” she smirks, watching as Jade’s head snaps back up to regard her warily. She holds her arms out, swaying back and forth just enough to be called dancing. “You have to give Tori a squeeze,” she sing-songs, her smile widening as Jade’s eyes widen with distaste, shaking her head vehemently.</p>
<p>“No. Way,” she growls, narrowing her eyes and giving Tori her deadliest glare.</p>
<p>“Come on, Jade, you know you want to,” she sing-songs, completely unbothered.</p>
<p>“<em>Ugh</em>, fine,” Jade groans, acting as though it’s the grossest thing imaginable. But Tori’s pretty sure that she can see her swallow hard, her gaze ticking down to Tori’s lips as she scoots closer and accepts Tori’s embrace. And she’s definitely certain that Jade hugs her back tightly, though not as tightly as when she’d wrestled her to the ground.</p>
<p>She’s smiling softly at the memory when Jade finally pulls back, her heart fluttering when the other girl gently tucks an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “You gonna be okay to sleep alone?” she asks, the tips of her ears turning beet red as she seems to realize what she said. “I mean, you’re not going to choke on your own vomit, are you?” she quickly amends.</p>
<p>Tori giggles, reaching up to touch Jade’s blushing ear and having her hand slapped away for her troubles. “Yeah, I feel fine now that I did,” she tells her with a blush of her own, almost having forgotten about her misadventure despite the bad taste in her mouth. “But do you have an extra toothbrush or something?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s just one of those on-the-go ones though,” Jade shrugs, standing up and heading for the hallway. She pauses at the threshold, turning back to look at Tori with sharp eyes that don’t seem quite as deadly anymore. “You coming?”</p>
<p>Tori can’t help the way her smile grows as she nods, standing up and following Jade down the long hallway.</p>
<p>She isn’t sure what morning will bring, but somehow, she’s certain that it’ll be better than today.</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I didn't really intend for this to take so long to finish and actually, I've had the unedited version of this done for six days, so I have no excuses. I just felt like it was missing something when I finished writing it and decided to take a couple of days off, and, well... </p>
<p>Hope it was worth the wait and enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div>
  <p></p>
  <div class="resolved">
    <p> </p>
  </div>
</div><p>
  <span>“Vega!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori jerks out of sleep with a start, wincing as the pain in her head and the aches in her body protest her sudden movement. She groans, burying her head in her hands to avoid the painfully bright room before memories of the previous night flood her consciousness and her eyes widen as she finally places the voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jade?” she asks weakly, not bothering to lift her head to confirm it, deeming it not worth the agony of facing the sunlight again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your sister’s been calling your phone every half hour,” Jade growls, clearly not amused; even without looking at her, Tori can picture the scowl she’s wearing, arms surely crossed over her chest in annoyance. “She won’t listen to me when I tell her you’re fine, so you have to tell her yourself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori finally looks up at that, pouting as she takes in how damn good Jade looks. She’s in a black camisole and a pair of sweatpants, her hair pulled back into a messy bun and her face scrubbed clean of make-up. It’s a sight that Tori’s never seen before and it makes her stomach flutter in a way that has nothing to do with her hangover. She can’t help but smile when she finds her indeed scowling, her arms crossed over her chest just like she’d envisioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jade,” she whines, finding it supremely unfair that Jade looks like </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>when she knows full well the state she must be in. She winces when she attempts to run a hand through her hair, her fingers immediately getting caught up in a huge tangle. “I can’t handle Trina hungover.” She shudders at the very thought. “You have to help me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jade huffs, casually leaning against the doorframe as she pulls Tori’s phone out of her pocket. Idly, Tori tries to remember where she’d left the phone before remembering that it had been in the pocket of her jeans, the jeans she’d given to Jade to wash after changing into a pair of her pajamas. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine. Smile, Vega,” Jade smirks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori barely has a chance to register her words before there’s the sound of a click, and she sputters as Jade begins typing impossibly fast. “Jade, what are you doing?” she gasps, just as she hears the telltale sound of a message being sent. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sending Trina proof that you’re alive,” she chuckles, her eyes sparkling mischievously. “You said you couldn’t handle her while you’re hungover and she wouldn’t believe me, so I compromised.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe that you just gave </span>
  <em>
    <span>Trina </span>
  </em>
  <span>a picture of me like this!” She pales. “Oh my god, she’s totally going to think we slept together,” she groans.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jade’s eyebrow arches at that, scrutinizing Tori. “Got something to tell me there, Vega?” she smirks, though there’s a hint of surprise in her eyes that makes Tori’s stomach clench in nervous anticipation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori frowns, her hands nervously playing with the sheets between the blanket, hidden from Jade’s view. “You don’t know?” she asks quietly, rubbing at her temples as the pain in her head increases slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, I forgot,” Jade avoids the question, disappearing from the doorway and returning a moment later with a glass of water and a few pills in her hand. “More aspirin,” she tells her needlessly as Tori downs the medication without a second thought. “And no,” she adds quietly, shifting uncomfortably before she takes a seat on the bed, making sure to keep space between them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit,” Tori mumbles, her hands twisting in her lap again. She’d come out years before and honestly, she thought that everyone knew. She’d never dreamed that she might have to repeat the experience </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and especially not with someone like Jade, someone who--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mentally slamming the door shut on </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>train of thought, Tori forces herself to return to the present and meet Jade’s gaze. “I’m gay,” she says softly, nervously searching her eyes as she waits for a response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Jade’s eyes and face remain carefully guarded even as she gives a slow nod. But then she smiles and Tori’s heart flutters again, her nerves dissipating as she finds not one note of falseness in it. “I always wondered, you know,” she chuckles ruefully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Tori gasps indignantly, her mind whirling as she tries to process everything that’s happening, but especially the idea that Jade might have somehow suspected that she was gay even before Tori herself had.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Jade just shrugs, her smile turning into a smirk as she nods towards the door. “Come on, you should get some food in you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori wants to protest, wants to insist that she won’t eat until Jade explains what she meant… but then her stomach growls loudly enough for Jade to hear and she suddenly feels the aching hunger in her belly and she just can’t bring herself to do anything but follow the other woman into the kitchen. She’ll make Jade talk after breakfast, she tells herself resolutely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breakfast is surprisingly decent, Tori’s surprised to find. Apparently, Jade’s grown domestic in the five years they’ve spent apart, and Tori’s greeted with a stack of waffles, bacon, and eggs, to say nothing of the coffee and orange juice sitting on the table. Tori’s too hungry to care about the amused way Jade watches her gorge herself, eating her fill and then some before she finally concedes defeat, slumping back in her chair with a contented sigh. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Feel better?” Jade smirks, her voice smug. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori’s too happy to care, feeling the effects of the hangover lessen even more from the combination of greasy hangover food, coffee, and of course the aspirin. She just nods in response, giving Jade a warm smile. “You turned into a good cook,” she tells her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What, surprised?” Jade scoffs, but Tori can see the slight smile that forms before Jade quickly wipes it away and she just hums quietly in response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you mean before?” she asks suddenly, meeting Jade’s eyes stubbornly. “About always suspecting that I was gay?” she clarifies at the other woman’s look of confusion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just what I said,” Jade smirks, shaking her head. “Come on, Vega. You hardly ever dated and when you did, what a disaster,” she chuckled, and Tori had to join in because she knew she was right. “You were always hopelessly awkward about men, but you had no problem talking about how pretty Cat and I were,” she says, her smile disappearing as she leans back in the chair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori impulsively reaches out to touch Jade’s hand, even daring to cover it with her own when she doesn’t react. “I meant that,” she says softly, not knowing where the words came from but feeling like she’d said the right thing as soon as they were out of her mouth. And, if Jade’s soft smile was any indication, she was right about that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what you want here, Tori,” Jade says, as blunt as ever. But she doesn’t move her hand or attempt to shrug Tori’s off, just meeting her gaze steadily. It’s clear that she’s not going to say anything more, that the ball is completely and totally in Tori’s court as she watches her an inscrutable expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jade…” She hesitates, suddenly nervous as she finds herself faced with a moment she’d always dreamed about but had never dared to imagine might actually happen. “I didn’t want to be your friend at Hollywood Arts,” she whispers, shaking her head. “Or at least not </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>your friend,” she amends quickly, afraid that Jade might get the wrong idea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes so that she doesn’t have to see Jade’s reaction before racing on. “I was happy to be your friend because I accepted that it was as much as I could hope for from you. You had Beck, you guys had been together for a long time before I showed up,” she swallowed. “I accepted that, and when you showed up at my door in pain, I helped you get him back even though it was the last thing I wanted to do,” she admitted quietly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then, you guys broke up and I felt guilty because I was </span>
  <em>
    <span>happy</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I felt like the worst person ever, Jade. You and Beck were both miserable and there I was, excited because maybe I could have a chance.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighs, shaking her head and opening her eyes again, keeping them fixed on the table. Jade still hasn’t budged under her touch and it gives her enough courage to keep going. “I kept waiting for the right time, but then Beck and I started to get closer and he got the wrong idea. Something happened with Beck and I fucked up, Jade. I panicked because I said we couldn’t kiss because of you, but I wasn’t ready for anyone to know that I was gay yet, much less that I was in love with you,” she sighed. “I was afraid that you wouldn’t even be my friend if you found out.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So I told him that I couldn’t be with him because I couldn’t do that to a friend… which meant that I couldn’t date you, not without making myself into a hypocrite and hurting Beck.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally running out of words, she braves glancing up and is surprised to find Jade with a soft smile on her face. She’s watching Tori with an expression she’s never seen on the other woman’s face before and she doesn’t know what to think. “Jade,” she whispers, hope surging in her chest but hardly daring to let herself give in to it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Beck told me about what happened with you,” she says abruptly, toying with Tori’s fingers aimlessly, her gaze focused somewhere beyond Tori. “You know the funniest thing? I broke up with him just after graduation because I realized that we weren’t right together, not anymore. And then I started to figure out why.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckles ruefully. “I never knew why I hated you so much. You could piss me off more than anyone I’d ever known from the moment we met, but when I broke up with Beck that first time, you were the only one I wanted to see. Do you know how many people have seen me cry, Vega? Even now?” She raises an expectant eyebrow until Tori silently shakes her head. “One.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She watches as Tori’s eyes widen at the implication and just nods before stumbling forward. “I started to think that maybe you had felt it too. Maybe that’s why you’d never given up on me, always kept trying no matter what a gank I was. But the idea of being wrong, of you possibly rejecting me after I told you scared the shit out of me, so I decided to leave the next move up to you. And do you know what happened then?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never called you,” Tori whispers, her voice low and filled with a soft understanding as she gazes at Jade. Her heart is aching in her chest as she begins to realize the magnitude of her fuck-up and just how badly she’d misjudged the situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jade nods, taking a comforting sip of coffee. “Five years without a word or even a text, Tori. Hell, you even texted </span>
  <em>
    <span>Rex </span>
  </em>
  <span>until Robbie finally got rid of the damn thing, but you never had anything to say to me.” Her eyes search Tori’s before she nods again, seeming to find what she was looking for. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I don’t give a shit.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Tori blinks in surprise, pulled out of her self-loathing by the words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I said I don’t give a shit, Vega,” she says bluntly, setting the coffee down. “I was pissed last night. I mean, it took you getting shitfaced to think about calling me even though I never changed my number,” she says with a raised eyebrow. “And don’t think that this is going to be easy,” she warns, her eyes narrowing. </span>
  <span></span>
    <br/>
  
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“I won’t,” Tori says softly, her heart swelling at Jade’s unexpected words. “Jade…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really hurt me, but that’s in the past,” Jade cuts her off, finally meeting Tori’s gaze head-on. “And I know that I hurt you long before that. Jesus, we’re fucked up,” she chuckles, her eyes sparkling with amusement as Tori laughs with her. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Imagine when we tell the others about this,” Tori chuckles, scooting her chair closer and twining her fingers with Jade’s, a warm feeling settling in the pit of her stomach, something she thinks just might be hope. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Vega--” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“West,” Tori murmurs, leaning in until their lips are almost touching. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you think that--” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But whatever she is going to say off when Tori closes the distance between them. The kiss is tentative at first, soft and gentle as Tori controls it in the seconds it takes Jade to react. Her hands come up to cup the brunette’s face as she takes control of the kiss, quickly turning it passionate as she pulls the brunette into her lap. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tori giggles into the kiss, shifting until she’s curled up against Jade and wrapping an arm around her neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She doesn’t think she’s ever been so grateful for a drunken phone call in her life. </span>
</p>

<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title is courtesy of Please Notice by Christian Leave</p></blockquote></div></div>
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